Dear Digital Diary,
When you loose someone close to you, sometimes the feeling of them being gone doesn’t really sink in. First, everyone calls to see how you are and the first thing I usually say is “I can’t believe it”. Then, sooner or later, the memories that you had shared with that person start flooding back into your mind.
She was a girl that could give an entire explanation on cellular respiration.
She was a girl that changed up her hair more than the seasons changed every year.
She was a girl that didn’t want anything on her plain burger other than ketchup.
She was one of the most intelligent, strong and beautiful people that I have ever met.
“Her name was Serena”.
Serena and I had met in college.
We laughed together and we cried together. We shared coffee breaks and secrets with each other.
What can I say, we were friends.
She was not only an incredible friend to me but an incredible friend to many.
She was... Serena.
Serena was many amazing things but she was also a fighter. You see, when Serena was a little girl, she had began a fight with a very rare genetic disease.
“Even with this it didn’t stop her from living her life”
Serena played soccer, was also an honors student and during all of this she would continuously be participating in treatments and took many different medications. In addition, to all of this, she continued to love and was such a devoted friend.
There would be times where she wouldn’t be at school and, when she would say where, we would ask to be with her. Serena never wanted us to see her this way so she simply would say “this and this happened but I’ll be back in school by whenever”.
The moment I heard that she wasn’t doing the best, this time I knew this time was different. I had scheduled time to go see her but, a couple days before I was about to go, I had gotten the news...
I felt guilty.
So much guilt.
I cried. I cried a lot.
So much of my tears kept flowing.
I knew that she had pasted but it didn’t feel like she was gone. A little part of me felt like I could text/call her and she would still answer and stay “hey friend, long time no talk”.
"I hope and pray that, when it’s my time, that she would be there at heaven’s gates with two venti caramel frappuccinos waiting to tell me everything."
I smile every time I read that sentence.
Before this summer the world had Serena and now as it gets colder I feel like she took the warm weather with her.
I still hear her laugh on replay in my head.
I still cry sometimes thinking about how I can't call you and tell you about all the crazy things that have happened lately.
For this next part I would like you to read it out loud so that maybe Serena could hear.
Dear Serena,
Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like you’re gone. Sometimes I don’t want to believe it. Sometimes don’t want to think about it.
Sometimes I laugh at all the funny times.
Sometimes I think about them and cry.
Sometimes the smallest things remind me of you.
Sometimes everything around me reminds me of you.
Sometimes I scream knowing I didn’t say goodbye.
Sometimes I think you didn’t want to tell me because you didn’t want me to stop everything just for you.
You were selfless.
You were sweet.
You were understanding.
You were smart.
You were funny.
You were shy.
You were my friend...
You are my friend.
You are Simply Serena.
Love,
Camille
Comments